Confessions of a Clueless Bride

Today marks exactly one year since my first blog post.  I honestly wasn’t sure if anyone but my mom would read this blog.  I wish I had something more profound to say on this, but my entire life lately has been whirlwind wedding planning and studying for the Series 24.  There have been a couple of times in the past few weeks where I have blamed my exhaustion on the fact that it was a Monday… on a Wednesday.  Anyway, what I do want to say is THANK YOU to those of you who have read this blog over the past year.  It has been truly a fun hobby for me and I am so, so thankful to you all for showing an interest in my ramblings.

I want to preface this post with saying that this will not become a wedding blog.  Not only because my life is hazy maze of Pinterest fluff and securities laws, but because I am just very bad at wedding planning.

I spent my single life hoarding beautiful wedding photos and bridal inspiration on my secret Pinterest boards.  They resided next to other secret boards/pins such as what to pack in your hospital bag when you have a baby and fun craft projects and bedtime rituals to do with my non-existent children.  Some of you may think I am nuts, but if you’re roughly 25-35 years old and also have 1,000 pumpkin spice recipe pins, don’t tell me you didn’t do this, either.  It’s all fun and games until it’s time to start sifting through your existing pins for the following things:

  1. Feasibility (things not requiring 18,000 hours of labor)
  2. Affordability (not any one of Kim Kardashian’s three weddings)

When it comes down to actually planning your wedding, you can kiss that swan pond goodbye.  You will never have Franc as your wedding planner.  You will not get married under a canopy of exotic flowers that were seasonally handpicked by rhinos.  Adam Sandler will not grow a mullet and perform at your reception.  And much to my fiancé’s dismay, Neil Degrasse Tyson will not be officiating your ceremony.  Maybe I can cheer him up with a Star Wars groom’s cake or something.  What I can almost guarantee is that your dad will end up like George Bahnks by the end of all this and get arrested for arguing about the quantity discrepancy between packages of hot dogs and packages of buns.  Ok, maybe not arrested.  And let’s be honest… the breakeven point to reach an equal amount of hot dogs and buns is actually a bit excessive.

In the short amount of time since our engagement, I have busted my butt to get most of the major components booked.  Some things were much easier than others.  For example, our photographer, DJ, and officiant are booked.  Easy peasy.  Especially because I didn’t have to think for a second who our photographer would be.  I could never imagine anyone other than the magnificent Lindsey Mueller photographing my wedding.

You may be thinking… wow you did that so fast.  What are you, some sort of Monica Geller control freak?  No (but maybe yes).  Everyone knows that many people get engaged over the holidays.  And if you’re local to Austin, you know that there are maybe three good weekends to get married in the fall that aren’t 5,000 degrees, aren’t ACL, aren’t Formula One, and aren’t Thanksgiving.  Ya gotta book NOW.  The fiancé did not understand what the hurry was until we saw a commercial for a jeweler that mentioned “engagement season”.  He then realized that this was a thing and was thankful that we have booked far enough in advance to have had our pick of the litter.

The toughest part so far has definitely been choosing the venue.  A little heads up… there will be something about every venue that you don’t like.  You just have to weigh your options and determine if the thing that bothers you really and truly matters.  Hint: it probably doesn’t.  We looked at three venues in person and I emailed back and forth with a number of others.  Leave it to us to pick the venue that’s not even finished yet.  Yes, our wedding venue is currently a construction site.  We had to wear hard hats to tour it, but we loved it and it will be perfect.

Two weeks ago, I was not this together.  The words wedding, budget, and deposits would have me in tears.

Plated or Buffet?

Band or DJ?

White or Blush or Champagne/Ivory?

Open Bar or Beer, Wine, and Signature Drink?

Cake or Cobbler? (for real)

Indoor or Outdoor?

First Look or No?

How many bridesmaids?

Will the sun go down too early on our wedding date?

Why is this dress so heavy?

Whose idea was it to use all this fabric?

How does one pee in a wedding dress?

How does this cost this much?

What do you mean, $14 per car?

Where do we want to go for our honeymoon?

Nevermind, that costs $7,000.

Yeah.  A lot to think about.

A couple words that have been thrown around as of late:

Elopement and Vegas

Despite all this, we have officially set our date: November 5, 2016.

I know that when this is all said and done, it will be completely worth it to celebrate the best day of our lives surrounded by all the people we love. It will be the most beautiful wedding and one hell of a party.

I hope to update more throughout this process as things start to come together.  But I promise to tell it like it is because Pinterest won’t, ladies.

Thanks for stopping by!  See y’all next time.

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2 thoughts on “Confessions of a Clueless Bride

  1. In reviewing this blog again, I believe youare ahead of the game and a much better wedding planner than you give yourself credit for!,

    Like

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